Having a job, and loving it too.

I am a creative and I do have a day job. There are days I hate it, but the reality is that I do need a steady income. I am nowhere near being able to support myself as an artist. I write more and more but the procrastination wins quite often and I lack confidence to put it out into the world just yet. I recently added painting and drawing to my crochet, knitting, and embroidery. Maybe overcompensating for the boring parts of my days. My work is not creative, and is quite constricted with targets and deadlines, but it is a good job as far as jobs come, and I love the part when I actually help people. I am grateful for all of that I get from it, the income, the stability, the safety net. It brought me to the realisation that I could, or should aim at taking full advantage of my days at work, to treat them not as a necessary evil but as an opportunity to grow.

I want to be happy all the time, also at work.

I tried to keep two (at one stage even three) calendars - a pretty one for my creative life - with open mic events, courses, online classes, prompts and writing deadlines, and for my emotional health - meetings friends, dates with my husband-to-be, holiday plans and all the great stuff. I also got an ugly calendar at work. We could choose only the size and I have a week to view A4 black calendar with my appointments, training, outreach events, and ever changing passwords at the very back. It is practical and vital to keep me not-fired.

It may sound silly, but only now (at 43 and three quarters) I realised that I have one life. (I believe reincarnation is a real option but still we do live one life at a time) With that in mind, I started artifying my work calendar. My colourful pens finally get some air time, all the stickers I bought on sale are thrown at the pages at random, and I add my extra curricular activities inside too. It helps. I can see that I have another three meetings on that day, but later I will attempt a poem, or tune into a novel structure workshop, or eat lunch with my favourite writing friends. I do than in hope that my creativity will take over and the proportion of the boring versus the exciting will change. This process has probably started already and the calendar is just a visual representation of the fact that I now treat my creativity maybe not seriously, but with some bit of respect, I allow myself more time for it and I invite it to my day job too.

I want to transition into a creative career but I also want to have that peace of mind that I do have enough to cover my expenses - like pens in way too many colours, brushes that don’t paint by themselves, notebooks too pretty to write in, a fluffy yarn that will make a fab softie one day, and so much more. I believe that this transition has every right to be enjoyed, celebrated, and shared. This is how going in direction of my dreams looks like. I want to write about it here and connect to others who are on the similar path.

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